These quotes are absolutely "Riddikulus."

Many of our favorite Harry Potter scenes are filled with laughter. After all, who can hold back a smile when thinking of Ron Weasley's face as he drove his Dad’s car into the Whomping Willow or when Harry smiled at Cho Chang and pumpkin juice spilled out his mouth? If you rate every Harry Potter-themed joke a 9 ¾ out of 10, say "Bloody hell" on a daily basis, and fill your holiday wishlist every year with Wizarding World merch and gifts, then you need to know these hilarious quotes from the magical franchise.

With seven books and eight movies, there's no shortage of sidesplitting, hysterical commentary from Hermoine Granger, Harry, and Ron, as well as the beloved teachers and friends of the trio. From Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, these are the best Harry Potter quotes for dedicated fans to recite when they need a laugh.

  • “I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.” — Professor Flitwick
  • “Don’t put your wand there, boy! … Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know.” — Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
  • “We could all have been killed—or worse, expelled.” — Hermione Granger
  • “One can never have enough socks.” – Albus Dumbledore
  • “What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?” – Arthur Weasley
  • “Accio Brain!” – Ron Weasley
  • “You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant ... but scary.” — Ron Weasley
  • “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.” — Fred Weasley
  • “It’s leviOsa, not levioSA!” – Hermione Granger
  • “Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocket watch? That way, one of you might be on time.” — Professor McGonagall
  • "Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have." — Hermione Granger
  • “Alas! Ear wax!” — Albus Dumbledore
  • “Of all the trees we could’ve hit, we had to get one that hits back.” — Ron Weasley
  • “We teachers are rather good at magic, you know.” — Professor McGonagall
  • “Ah, of course. There is no need to say anymore, Miss Granger. Tell me, which of you will be dying this year?” — Professor McGonagall
  • “We’ve been hearing explosions out of their room for ages, but we never thought they were actually making things. We thought they just liked the noise.” — Ginny Weasley
  • “You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts . . . but you cannot deny he’s got style . . .” — Phineas Nigellus
  • "Why spiders? Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies?” — Ron Weasley
  • "I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons!" — Professor McGonagall
  • "Traditional? They're ancient! I look like my great aunt Tessie! I smell like my great aunt Tessie… Murder me, Harry.” — Ron Weasley